The Sacred Cocktail Hour

By Rebecca Moore

The other day Dorothy Wiggins, the forthright 98-year-old, who has experienced a late-life burst of social media fame, paid a visit to Woodlawn Cemetery. The star of the social media account Dorothy Loves New York traveled to the Bronx from her West Village townhouse, accompanied by two of her sons and her videographer to see the newly installed headstone on her husband’s grave and to contemplate her final resting place.

“There are a lot of famous musicians here,” Dorothy observes, like a real estate agent trying to accentuate the positive aspects of a questionable property. “Irving Berlin is across from my husband. We loved his songs.” She pauses. “At least he’s among elegant people.”

“Dad is in good company,” her son Guy Stuart observes, “and you’ve got Duke Ellington, Miles Davis and Celia Cruz nearby.”

Dorothy is stylishly turned out, as always, in a white sleeveless poplin shirt with a large ruffled collar, black linen trousers, a coral blazer, a dash of her signature orange lipstick, and large gold ankh – the Egyptian symbol of eternal life – around her neck. “I don’t want people to think it’s a cross, because I don’t believe in religion,” she explains with her characteristic bluntness. 

While age can lead many women to feel invisible, Dorothy has an undeniable presence, bordering on irreverence that endears her to so many people.

Her irreverence is apparent in the modest-sized, black granite headstone bearing a copy of a cartoon Dorothy’s husband drew for her 85th birthday. It depicts the two of them drinking cocktails on a couch and holding hands. The encomium, etched by the venerable Bronx firm, Domenick DeNigris Monuments & Mausoleums, to resemble Guy’s handwriting, reads: “Sixty-One Years, The Sacred Cocktail Hour, The Wiggins Forever in Love.” 

“I’m an Ethical Hedonist. I try to make life as pleasurable as possible. I focus on the present. I live for the joy of the moment. No matter where we were, we’d stop,” Dorothy says. “We were never apart.”

Dorothy’s husband, Guy Arthur Wiggins, a former diplomat and third-generation American impressionist painter, died in 2020 at the age of 100 leaving her devastated. 

Dorothy’s youngest son Noel contracted friend and journalist Michael Astor to make a documentary about her life. The project distracted Dorothy from her grief and got them both outside, reconnecting with the city they love.

Amid the din of birdsong, the pings of shovels hitting rock and the occasional wailing of sirens in the distance, Dorothy considers the stone. Noel kneels and places his hand on the ground over his father’s buried ashes.  Noel was initially reluctant to have the cemetery visit tied to social media, but Astor, who had gotten through the pandemic writing obituaries for The New York Times, felt it was an important memorial, and convinced him that the stone was something people needed to see. 

“People are always asking me what’s the secret of Dorothy’s long life and happy marriage and I believe the Sacred Cocktail Hour has a lot to do with it,” says Astor.

“It was inviolable,” Noel says. “It was a ritual about connection. There was always a really good dinner after the cocktail hour.”

“Which I cooked for 61 years,” Dorothy adds.

“I think that’s why mom and dad lived so long, they ate very well,” Guy posits. “They protected their sleep and they were very active. Nice to see him again. Beautiful day.”

Dorothy’s marriage to Guy is arguably her greatest achievement, but her newly-found social media fame delivers an unexpected coda to a well lived life.

“Dorothy has always lived as if she were someone,” Astor explained. “Even before she blew up on social media, people were always asking who she was, as if she was famous.”

It seems only fitting that Dorothy and Guy led a highly Instagrammable life long before Instagram: living and traveling around the globe, throwing over-the-top New Year’s Eve costume parties, producing and performing in small plays, singing, dancing and frequenting clubs like the Salmagundi and National Arts Club. 

She is now probably more famous than she would have been had she stuck with acting.

When Astor started posting snippets of video from the project, which evolved into a series of TikToks and Instagram Reels attracting over a quarter-million followers, her dreams of fame came true.  Now, Dorothy is starring in a movie she may never see. The video footage being shot as Dorothy continues her adventures will be combined with the earlier scenes to create a documentary film, Who is Dorothy? 

“I hope I can make it to 100 so it can be on the gravestone,” Dorothy says, eyeing her own start date of 1925. She is two months shy of 99.

Before leaving the cemetery, the family poses for a photograph around the headstone. Astor posts the photo and the comments pour in. People love it.

@kelsens (kelly irene) writes: I was about to ask what the secret was until I read ‘sacred cocktail hour.’

@Minnie.castevet (Karla Ryder) says: Rare to see such a touching and personal headstone—I love it and love Dorothy as well.

But Dorothy doesn’t read the comments. “I’m going to be here sooner than later.” She remarks, adding, “The physical place isn’t all that important. He’s with me every day, constantly in my thoughts.”