True Confessions of a ROMEO

By Alec Pruchnicki

I hope you’re not too disappointed when you learn that this article is about retirement, and not about real or imagined romantic exploits, despite the title. When I was forced to retire in March of ’25 I was pretty angry and worried about how I would adjust to all this unstructured time. After a year of retirement, I have realized that it’s not so bad. Enjoyable actually.

One of the aspects I enjoy is the time I have to eat out. When I was tired after working, I would usually go straight home to eat a simple dinner I made or maybe got as a take out. Once or twice a week I would eat at a restaurant ─ every one of which cooked better than I could. Now, sitting around the house most of the day gives me cabin fever by dinner time and I manage to eat out three or four times a week. My pensions are pretty good and cover the costs, even in the West Village ─ and I usually don’t eat extravagantly expensive meals.

I’m not the only one enjoying my retirement this way. Some observant person on the internet coined the phrase Retired Old Men Eating Out (ROMEO) to describe this new demographic category. There is even a web site (romeoclub.com) for older men in the same situation, along with merch you can purchase and a system for networking and arranging get togethers. Since I barely have an opportunity to keep up with my friends and relatives, despite my abundant free time, I don’t need this level of social engagement.

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Over the years, I’ve developed tricks for eating out alone. When you’re in a restaurant filled with groups of people and couples, being a single person sitting at a table for two can sometimes be a little socially uncomfortable. I usually eat out early ─ five or six o’clock when possible. The restaurant is usually emptier and this helps a little. I go to places that are not that fancy or trendy since they can sometimes fill up early. I also like low-key neighborhood places where I can walk in early without a reservation and almost always get a seat. Of my favorite half dozen places, all but one have a bar. I always choose the bar. Not only does a single person sitting at the bar draw less attention to his being alone, but sometimes this gives you a chance to strike up a conversation with the bartender, which is difficult when you are at a table talking to a server who is quickly moving from table to table. I used to sometimes take reading material to appear occupied while waiting for my food. Now, I usually don’t take anything but prefer to look around and people watch. People watching in a restaurant or at a sidewalk table can often be more entertaining than time-killing reading material, especially in a city filled with beautiful or interesting looking people. Finally, when I go into a bar or restaurant, I always go to have a meal, never to just sit and drink alone. My father, and my father’s father, were drinkers ─ and that was their habit ─ but that is a family tradition I’m determined to end.

Many years ago, I heard a comedian do a routine about what it’s like to go into a neighborhood restaurant or bar for the first time. Often, there is some local old guy sitting in the corner who goes by the nick-name “pops,” “doc,” or “old-timer.” The punch line was that if you go into a place and don’t see someone like that, it could be you. When I was young, this seemed pretty funny. Then, for a while, it wasn’t so funny when I realized it was me pretty often. Now, I really don’t care anymore. If I’m the old guy in a corner, if I’m at a table alone, or if I come across as some anti-social loner, I don’t let it prevent me from going into a place and being very comfortable as I enjoy my meal and drinks. My professional career is over, but my career as a ROMEO has just begun.