The Wedding Signer

By Lynn Pacifico

I make it legal!

I am a priest of the “old” religion, a nature based spiritual practice that honors the earth as the great mother. Years ago I held regular worship services, and taught classes and workshops, often in natural settings. Nature is my church, where I go for physical and spiritual strengthening. Recent science proves that being in nature benefits us on a fundamental level. Nature empowers us and what we do when in her presence.

As children of nature we were designed to have a regular relationship with the earth. Like a child without nurturing, we suffer when deprived of her but we have become completely detached from the natural world. For the last 30 years my ministry has focused on animal welfare and lobbying for more natural areas in our nature starved concrete downtown Manhattan. Lobbying has not been a lot of fun and often heartbreaking.

On the other hand, one of the most enjoyable activities of being a cleric is officiating at weddings. It is time to balance my efforts by doing weddings again. I have officiated at many elegant venues but some of my most memorable weddings were less formal, like walking into Prospect Park with the couple and their loved ones and performing their wedding in a quiet clearing. “We couldn’t have done it without you!”

Similarly, I helped a couple, after one of them had survived a harrowing illness, do a vow renewal in a wooded area in Central Park. As they wished, their celebration was a picnic with everyone bringing food. We found a grove large enough for the 20 attending as well as a volleyball net. We set up the spot, did the ceremony then everyone shared food and stories, cried and hugged and then played volleyball. “Thank you for such a beautiful and perfect ceremony. It was everything I wanted it to be and more!”

One couple flew in from out of town with their two kids and the bride’s mother. Everyone thought that they were already married. This was when not being married in a small town was still frowned upon, especially with children. When they decided to get married, the bride’s best friend, a New Yorker, hired me and we figured out the particulars before the couple arrived.

The wedding was a secret, so during the ceremony, the grandmother stayed in the hotel with the children while the best friend, the couple and I walked to Strawberry Field in Central Park. The park was almost deserted as it was beginning to rain but the rain held off until I made the pronouncement of marriage.

Then, in the rain, we walked to the little gazebo on the lake. The groom had brought champagne and glasses. While sipping champagne we signed the marriage license, took photos and enjoyed the setting before going, with kids and grandmother, to a restaurant. I usually don’t stay after the signing but we had shared a secret and a little bit of magic in the park that afternoon. “I was so touched by how you incorporated the quote into the ceremony at the perfect time. A last minute idea to do something other than a JOP that turns into something so incredibly wonderful.”

I did a few marriages in Central Park’s Strawberry Fields, one on a very cold winter afternoon with my father in attendance as the couple’s witness couldn’t come and my father stepped up. I have also done quite a few weddings In the Jefferson Market Garden which is another great setting and used for the wedding of Miranda and Steve in an episode of Sex and the City.

In the last wedding I did there, the bride’s son walked her up the aisle as I had advised her that if she was wearing heels — she had very high heels for the occasion — the ground would be uneven. Including her son in the ceremony turned out not only to be practical but also gave her son a special part in his mother’s wedding. And yes, some of the brides have kicked off their shoes and were married barefoot. “Thank you so much for the ceremony. It was perfect.”

There is no reason not to have a ceremony that is individualized according to the sensibilities and wants of the couple. I get to know these couples at a joyous time of their life, in the best of settings and they and their ceremony become special to me. Decades later I am still in touch with some of them.

As wedding season approaches I hope to be officiating again and helping couples accomplish the wedding they want. So, while I continue my efforts to bring natural areas downtown, let’s have fun!

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Lynn Pacifico can be reached at lynnpax@juno.com.