Joy In The Moment
Think You Can’t Say No? Think Again!
By Joy Pape, FNP-C, CDCES
Do you ever find yourself agreeing to do something you may not really want to do? Do you think you have a problem saying “no”? Truth is, you say “yes” and “no” many times a day. For example, when you choose what to wear, you are saying “yes” to those clothes and “no” to all the others. So, it’s not true that you can’t say “no.” You need to be aware of who and what you want to say “yes” or “no” to.
Let’s say you may want to be more active. You make a plan to take 20 minutes to move your body. But then someone asks you to do something else. You blurt out, “yes!” before you think about what you planned for yourself. What happened? You did say “no!” You said “yes” to that person’s request and “no” to you. This often happens when it comes to taking care of our health because the body, mind and spirit are connected.
For example, you have a pain in some part of your body. You have been advised of the types of activity that can help relieve your pain. Then, you say “yes” to someone who asks you to do something when you planned to do your healing activity. You have said “yes” to that other person and “no” to you and your pain relief.
You want to lose some weight. Someone offers you a food that you know won’t help you reach your goal, but you end up eating it so you don’t hurt that person’s feelings. You have said “yes” to that person, and “no” to you and your goal.
There are a lot of examples where we end up saying “yes” to other people rather than ourselves. How can you change this? First, by being aware of how often you say “no” to you, and “yes” to others. Know you don’t need to give an answer right away. You can always say, “Let me think about it and I’ll get back with you.” It’s good to give a time when you will do so.
If you should decide to say “no,” say “no.” You do not owe anyone an explanation. A simple yes or no will do. You may think this seems selfish, but there is nothing wrong with being selfish in a positive way. Remind yourself that taking care of you can mean you can then be more helpful to others.
Please give this some thought and practice. Make your life an exclamation and not an explanation! It can help you have more Joy in the Moment.
Joy Pape, FNP-CDCES, CFCN is a board-certified nurse practitioner who believes in and practices wholistic health and healing. She is a board-certified diabetes care and education specialist, and foot care nurse. She practices at the Comprehensive Weight Control Center at Weill Cornell Medicine and New York Presbyterian. She also has a private practice located in the West Village.
