The Bride

By Lynn Pacifico

The Coming of Bride by John Duncan (1917).

Modern weddings are a mix of old and new. Yet, too many couples ignore a precious custom from the traditional ceremony when they choose not to sequester themselves separately the night before the wedding. Some couples also have their wedding photos taken before the ceremony and I understand the convenience of this. However, as a wedding officiant, I have often witnessed something very special happen while standing next to a groom who hasn’t seen his bride since the day before. 

Couples who spend the night before the wedding apart start to miss one another. When the bride appears in a white gown and glowing, and the groom first sees her, his entire demeanor changes. Grooms often appear stunned, take a deep breath, make a soft sound or gasp, smile broadly, and sometimes a hand will come up to their heart. In fact, I‘ve had more grooms cry during the ceremony than brides.

The way that the bride embodies the sacred feminine during a wedding ceremony never ceases to amaze me. Originally, Bride was the name for the Celtic earth goddess. Historically, Bride (Bridget, Brigit, Brig) was depicted as dressed in white, wearing a crown of flowers. Worshipped in pre-Christian Brigantia (which included parts of Spain, France and the UK), Bride translates to “the Exalted One” in the Scots’ Gaelic variant. During the Christian era, she became Saint Bridget to allow the people who loved her to keep her.

Bride was considered a great teacher and healer, ruling over poetry, fire and water. She still has sacred wells and healing groves dedicated to her. In the past, no important decision was made without consulting her through custom and prayer. The wedding is considered the bride’s day because, dressed as Bride, she is the goddess realized. We all rise as Bride enters the room in respect for her divinity, wisdom and power. To this day, she is arguably the most important spiritual figure in Ireland.

The spring, Bride’s special season, is a fertile time—a time for new beginnings, when things are planted and grow. A wedding is held in recognition of commitment but it also honors the source of life, brought to bear by love, the union of divine feminine and divine masculine, of Goddess and God (or God and God/Goddess and Goddess). Healing occurs in authentic union and ideally, a wedding ceremony blesses the marriage and all who are present.

To get the most out of this custom, the bride should not be seen by the groom for one night before the ceremony, and until she walks down the aisle. After being separated and not seeing each other, the couple is then united in marriage. Love is the basis of all life affirming spiritual practices and this custom adds to love’s mystery and magic. As such, it is important to include this meaningful and potent tradition in order to get the most out of your marriage ceremony.