VV’s Astro-Zodial Elucidictions

JULY 2023, Cancer/Leo

Oh, you July birthday babies!—our View through the sacred Hudson-crystal ball maintains you manifest as a crab, or a lion… or a crabby lion (and we, your metaphorical fodder in the Colosseum).

Your life line looks long, but turbulent. This month’s melding of water with fire elements portends… steam. And if a vacation at the Old Faithful Inn or Esalen is not in the offing—then a platza treatment at the East 10th Street baths might be indicated (nothing like getting beaten with a wet oak switch when your acorns won’t support a waterfront cottage in the Hamptons this summer).

July 3rd is the Buck Full Moon. Viewable the Monday betwixt a weekend and a Federal holiday, you might take this opportunity to go moonlight shooting (in the pictorial sense) of a tick-bearing deer on Long Island, or upstate, or wherever woods harbor venison harboring arachnids. (Suggested fragrances: DEET, or RID.)

July 14th is the proscribed day to leave ectoplasmic Blue, White and Red carnations at 69 Gansevoort St. (Fifteen years… count ’em and weep escargot tears.) You’ll be well trussed by then if you’ve already attended the official Bastille Day in Central Park festival on July 13th.

Your lucky color for long life is Pantone 18-1750: “Viva Magenta!”—per their marketing team, “it is a shade rooted in nature” (like cooked crab or a lion’s meal) which “vibrates with vim and vigor.” (Viva Alliteration!)

Until next month,
your jaundiced eye in the sky,
Viewyou le Magnifique